The Object of My Child's Affection

Every parent's had the experience; you're almost out the door, and your toddler is holding you back in search for his favorite teddy bear. Or your 7 month old won't stop fussing in her bed because her pacifier is suddenly lost. As parents you know how frustrating this can be. You should keep in mind, though, to your children the need for his tattered and worn out blanket is what seems debilitating. Really, security items are just what they sound like, and are a healthy and important part of childhood.

By the time children reach 1 year old, they've already turned to a comfort object that is with them constantly. For children younger than one year of age, a binkie or even their own thumb will work rather nicely to comfort and settle them when necessary. As your baby matures into a toddler, they'll often look for something that is more physically satisfying to protect them like an old teddy bear or blankie. It has been said that the soft texture is one of the reasons for the gentle effect they've got on children. A toddler will most often caress a teddy or rub a blanket on their arm or face in order to comfort themselves.

Another security feature your toddler may discover with soft textured comfort items is the way it reminds them of you as their parent. The soft material of a blanket rubbed on your child's face might remind her or him of your skin or clothing when being cradled or hugged by you. Or possibly the stuffed animal was always a part of the sleep ritual you developed with your child. Again, the association with you giving comfort to your toddler or making her feel shielded is what draws the attachment to these comfort toys. Every so often young children make a securtiy item out of unusual possessions. It could be just about anything from a piece of clothing to a hard toy truck. Even though this attachment is not as obvious, there is most likely an emotional attachment the child has made to draw comfort from the object.

However inconvenient it is to live with your child's persistent need for their toy or blanket, it is essential to consider that this phase is healthy and essential. The world can be terrifying to little ones, especially as they reach their first birthday. It is in these years that a child will start to suffer from separation anxiety because they're more likely to be separated from you resulting from preschool, a sitter, or even by their own choice as they explore their world. By using a comfort item, your child is learning to comfort herself when you aren't available and as they open their independence. Think about it as a short term support to lift them through this phase in their lives.

It usually isn't until your child turns 3 or 4 that she or he will start to regulate their feelings and emotions and no longer rely on a comfort object for soothing, according to Jane Kostelc, a child-development specialist. At this age, dragging around a battered blanket may seem less acceptable among your child's friends. Who knew children had to worry about peer pressure so young? For now, it's probably best for parents to respect this part of your child's development as the milestone that it is. By doing so you will only help their growth and emotional development. Certainly something that is worthy of short term irritation.